The Bachelor alum Colton Underwood reveals dark sex secret before starring on reality dating show

Colton Underwood revealed his dark sex secret before he appeared on The Bachelor where he was dubbed the ‘virgin Bachelor.’ 

The 34-year-old TV personality, who came out as gay in 2021, opened up about how he had ‘hooked up with married men’ during an appearance on Tuesday’s episode of the We Need To Talk podcast. 

He explained that he did so to ‘protect’ himself while also trying to be ‘so careful’ before publicly coming out about his sexuality. 

‘I was very careful, even when I was physically experimenting with guys and trying to, like, figure myself out. I was so careful on how I did everything.’ 

Underwood further stated that he would ‘hook up’ with only ‘[married] straight men’ in order to ‘protect myself.’ 

‘When I was in the closet, that would be the only time I would ever hook up with men was if they were married… because they had more to lose than I did.’ 

The TV personality he had ‘hooked up with married men’ during an appearance on Tuesday’s episode of the We Need To Talk podcast; seen above on The Bachelor 

The star continued, ‘So if they tried to, you know, ruin my career and my life for football, they had a whole family that they’d be risking as well. 

‘So it’s a messed up thing to think through, but like it was a form of self [preservation]… it was just like a way to protect myself.’ 

He also discussed being dubbed the ‘virgin Bachelor’ during his time on the show which aired back in 2019. 

‘So, that was the storyline that they wanted to run with, and I hated it because I didn’t want that pressure.’

Underwood added, ‘And then I also didn’t want people digging in because at that time I had hooked up with men.’

The reality star explained that he did not plan for his virginity to be a main point on the dating series, but recalled admitting to being a virgin on season 14 of The Bachelorette. 

‘So that’s unfortunately how it sort of came to be, and then it became my entire storyline,’ Underwood further explained on the podcast episode. 

When it came to his virginity, he stated that it was partially due to his faith but also his ‘struggle with my sexuality.’

Underwood added, ‘And then I also didn’t want people digging in because at that time I had hooked up with men’; seen in 2018 

‘So it’s a messed up thing to think through, but like it was a form of self [preservation]… it was just like a way to protect myself,’ the star explained

He also got candid about how he thought getting married and losing his virginity could have been ‘steps to becoming straight’; seen in March in Beverly Hills 

He also got candid about how he thought getting married and losing his virginity could have been ‘steps to becoming straight.’ 

‘What I was telling myself is, “This is going to force me [to be straight].” I’m going to be so publicly straight that I will never be able to be gay again.’

During an interview with Variety back in 2021, Underwood also opened up about ‘experimenting with men’ before coming out as gay. 

‘I was “the Virgin Bachelor,” but I did experiment with men prior to being on The Bachelorette,’ he said before confirming that he had been a virgin while on the ABC series. 

‘When I say “hookups,” not sex… I want to make that very clear that I did not have sex with a man, prior to that.’

While starring on season 23 of The Bachelor, he became romantically linked to Cassie Randolph. 

Their relationship came to an end in 2020 and later that same year, she filed for a temporary restraining order against her ex as she accused him of stalking and harassing her.

In November of that same year, she withdrew her request and Underwood addressed the restraining order. 

‘The two of us were able to reach a private agreement to address any of Cassie’s concerns,’ he stated at the time.

‘When I say “hookups,” not sex… I want to make that very clear that I did not have sex with a man, prior to that,’ he explained; seen in 2024 in L.A. 

While starring on season 23 of The Bachelor, he became romantically linked to Cassie Randolph; the former couple seen above 

‘I do not believe Cassie did anything wrong in filing for the restraining orders and also believe she acted in good faith. I appreciate everyone’s respect for privacy regarding this matter.’

The following year, Underwood came out as gay during an appearance on Good Morning America.

He explained that isolation during the pandemic had prompted him to finally ‘look at himself in the mirror’ and come to terms with his sexuality after ‘hat[ing] myself for a long time.’ 

The TV personality also sent a public apology to Randolph. 

‘I would just say that I’m sorry from the bottom of my heart. I’m sorry for any pain and emotional stress I caused.’

He added, ‘I wish that it wouldn’t have happened the way that it did. I wish that I had been courageous enough to fix myself before I broke anybody else.’ 

In 2022, Randolph expressed that she was ‘very happy’ for her ex who was at ‘peace with himself’ after he came out. 

‘I’m very happy that he, you know, is at peace with himself and not carrying that burden anymore, of course,’ she said at a live appearance for The Ben And Ashley I. Almost Famous podcast, per People. 

However, she admitted to feeling ‘overwhelmed’ when Underwood initially went public with his sexuality following their split. 

In 2022, Randolph expressed that she was ‘very happy’ for her ex who was at ‘peace with himself’ after he came out; Randolph seen in 2021 in San Diego 

Underwood tied the knot with Jordan C. Brown in 2023 which took place in Napa Valley, California. The couple welcomed their first child, a son named Bishop, via surrogate in September 2024; seen in February in L.A. 

‘It was a very just overall hard time for me, so I feel like there was just one thing after another and I was just extremely overwhelmed with everything going on.’ 

Underwood tied the knot with Jordan C. Brown in 2023 which took place in Napa Valley, California. 

The couple welcomed their first child, a son named Bishop, via surrogate in September 2024. 

Along with his appearance on The Bachelor (2019) and The Bachelorette (2018), Underwood also starred in episodes of Bachelor In Paradise in 2018.