I saw this post making the rounds on the socials the other day, and it stuck with me: “Possibly the only true pearl of wisdom I’ve heard from 94WIP, ever: The Philadelphia 76ers are a PR firm, not a basketball team.”
With the proper hat tip to that anonymous WIP host or caller, I think the comparison is apt. Four weeks into the regular season, 76ers statements and injury updates outpace wins on the basketball court roughly 50 to 2.
It’s all about words with this team. What they’re saying, what’s being said about their star player, and when the next update on someone’s availability will be.
The latest statement from on high took the form of a cagey admission from coach Nick Nurse an hour after the 76ers lifelessly gave away a 19-point lead in a 106-89 loss at the Miami Heat late Monday night.
“Sorry for the delay. We just had a little meeting. … Won’t get into specifics of that meeting, but happy to answer any questions about the game,” Nurse said.
Joel Embiid kept the details of the meeting private, pretending he didn’t know the 76ers had one, and the internet overreacted accordingly.
But I can’t blame basketball fans for not taking Embiid or Nurse or the Sixers seriously. Now 2-11 and playing some surprisingly horrendous basketball, this is a team without any obvious solutions, and the constant hoopla about who’s playing, who’s hurt and who’s resting makes them ripe for mockery.
The Philadelphia Inquirer got itself entangled with the Embiid injury saga earlier this month when controversial columnist Marcus Hayes made the poor decision to connect Embiid’s willingness to show up to work to his son and his late brother. This was followed by the most bafflingly phrased live-tweeting of a locker room altercation we’ll ever see from beat writer Keith Pompey.
But as mad as fans want to be about Embiid’s ensuing suspension (for shoving, not assaulting, Hayes), the Inquirer didn’t create the 76ers’ awful start.
Here’s which areas of the game the 76ers are bad at: Everything.
They rank last in the NBA in scoring (103.3 ppg), assists (21.2 per game), and effective field goal percentage (49.6%). They rank 29th in 3-point shooting (31.6%) and rebounding percentage (46.5%). They’re 28th in assist-to-turnover ratio (1.46), and while Philadelphia’s defense rates as middle-of-the-pack, the rim protection is beyond weak. A team rostering Embiid shouldn’t rate 29th in blocks and 27th in points per shot allowed at the rim.
So let’s talk about Embiid, who of course was listed as doubtful for the Miami game with an illness before he suited up to play.
The most optimistic Sixers fan may still argue that the team has not played a single game with their new big three—Embiid, Tyrese Maxey and Paul George—healthy at the same time, and things can turn around when they’re all back. But in the five games Philadelphia has had two of those three together, it’s gone 0-5! It doesn’t exactly inspire confidence.
Embiid on Monday had his worst output since late in the 2020-21 season, scoring just 11 points in 31 minutes, and he didn’t get to the foul line a single time. Kyle Lowry has started the last six games with Maxey out and made a grand total of six field goals in that time.
The silver lining for Sixers fans is Jared McCain, who’s finding his way nicely in his rookie year. But when your first-round draft pick is leading you in points per possession, it’s almost like a backhanded compliment to the rest of your roster.
All told, Monday’s team meeting was a drop in the bucket in the noise surrounding the 76ers. They’ll be on to something new tomorrow, or whenever we get the next update on Maxey’s hamstring. But something tells me all three stars getting healthy simultaneously isn’t enough to solve the core problems of this franchise.