HOWLING left-wing opposition to Donald Trump will take to the streets of Washington today in the form of the curiously named No Kings protest.
It is 249 years since the United States said “see ya” to the monarchy and Britain, and now they are trying to paint their current President as their own homegrown, tyrannical, unelected overlord.
Despite the Republicans winning the popular vote last November, along with every key swing state and control of the House of Representatives and the Senate, some people still haven’t got over it.
So the usual blue-haired hippies of indeterminate sexual preference, with twee signs and banners, will be bussed into town from across the East Coast to moan for a few hours.
The timing amuses me, however, given that our own King Charles has been the talk of the town here in DC since last month’s historic second state visit to the UK laid on for the President.
The current turmoil in France — where PMs last 44 hours rather than Liz Truss’s 44 days — shows the serious pitfalls of the job of political head of state.
READ MORE FROM HARRY COLE
Bourbon barrels
But our own unique constitutional set-up really does have its moments.
While haters like Sadiq Khan slammed his own Labour colleagues for inviting Trump to the UK, Britain’s best salesman showed the London Mayor how to actually get stuff done.
At the tail end of the state banquet at Windsor Castle last month, I’m told the King collared the teetotal President for a nightcap of sorts.
Over a cuppa — and to the delight of ministers — His Majesty picked his moment to go into bat on painful whisky tariffs that have been slapped on Britain by the White House.
Both the Scottish First Minister, John Swinney, and Scottish Secretary Douglas Alexander have been hammering the Trump administration to drop its ten per cent import levy on malts.
The Scotch Whisky Association says that tax is costing the already overburdened UK industry £20million a month in lost exports.
Swinney used a 50-minute Oval Office chinwag to hammer home the case, with the PM also understood to have raised the matter privately with the President.
Both Swinney and the Prime Minister pointed out that most scotch is aged in bourbon barrels that are imported every year to the tune of hundreds of millions of dollars from US states such as Tennessee.
A zero-tariff deal makes economic sense to both sides, went the logic used to sell the case to the business-minded President.
But it was the King who went for the heartstrings. Trump famously plays up his connection to Scotland through his mother’s birth on the Isle of Lewis.
Pointing out quite how many people are employed in the whisky industry around the town of Tong, where Mary Anne MacLeod Trump grew up, the King made the valid point that these jobs are now in danger.
His Maj added that despite the noise of a minority, plenty of Scots — not least those employed on his golf courses — are proud of their connections to Trump.
Over a cuppa — and to the delight of ministers — His Majesty picked his moment to go into bat on painful whisky tariffs that have been slapped on Britain by the White House
And I’m told the implication was that, were these punishing tariffs to start putting small historic distillers out of business, blame would very quickly settle at the door of the Americans.
The point seems to have landed — with mood music out of the US Treasury suggesting a deal could be imminent.
While the King himself is fond of the odd dram, I have no doubt he intervened purely in service of his nation.
You rarely hear how our soft power works in action but, behind all the pomp and circumstance of Trump’s latest visit to the UK, it’s reassuring to know British interests can still be sold over a good old-fashioned tipple.
And while ministers and governments come and go, we are very lucky to have the continuity of our head of state — out of politics but politically alert when he needs to be.
Britain still punches above its weight, despite the current chaos, and our regal arsenal plays no small part in that.
While America screams ‘No Kings’, I say cheers to ours, as King Charles proves to be UK plc’s not-so-secret weapon
So if the Scottish whisky industry does get its tariff relief in the coming days and weeks, we will know who to raise a glass to.
While America screams “No Kings”, I say cheers to ours, as King Charles proves to be UK plc’s not-so-secret weapon.
Now, if the King could just have a word with Rachel Reeves ahead of the Budget, I have ideas for other issues he could raise to protect jobs.
Starting with NI, VAT, alcohol duties, income tax, betting, fuel duty and stamp duty.
THE Government’s attempts to play down a devastating cyber blunder that let the Chinese into their systems was a masterstroke in Orwellian Newspeak.
Insistence that “the most secret” information had not been snaffled by Beijing through data-exchange software only left the door open to everything else having been nicked.
If everything was so tickety-boo, as the kow-towing Starmer team have attempted to suggest, then why not publish the top-secret review, codenamed Hemlock, which was circulated at the very top of government five years ago?
IT really is getting harder and harder to defend my homeland each and every week.
I’ve told you before, on this very page, just how low Britain’s reputation is in the wider West, with the country fast becoming a poster boy for decline.
Day in and day out I’m asked by Americans: “What the hell is going on in England?”
From taxing everything that moves until they move out, and bending over to avoid upsetting the Chinese, to actively undermining peace efforts in the Middle East by rewarding Hamas . . . the list grows daily.
But banning Jewish football fans from attending a Villa match because Birmingham coppers cannot guarantee their safety from Islamists really is a new low.
The US State and Homeland Security Departments are considering offering Brits asylum from the madness, and I fear there’s going to be a bit of a queue.
Will the last person to leave Britain please turn out the lights.
They probably won’t need to because we will have rolling wind-energy blackouts by then.
