Grant Denyer has become emotional as he discussed how he struggles with his self-esteem.
The TV star, 46, told the Mental As Anyone podcast that he doesn’t like his own reflection.
‘I still struggle to look at myself in the mirror,’ the television host admitted, adding that there are times he avoids being photographed.
‘I think being a slightly smaller guy, I was always under threat from bullies, you know, I was an easy target, you know, the girls never really invested in you because you weren’t the big, buff kind of sports guy so you were just always very overlooked. Looking in the mirror is like swallowing razorblades’ he added.
Grant went on to explain how even winning a Gold Logie in 2018 didn’t do much to soothe his shattered self-image.
‘It was just very depraved, it was vicious. It was very damaging, crippled by perfectionism as well, which is a torturous condition because you are just never happy with your achievements, no matter how great those moments are’ he said.
‘It was constantly attacking myself from the inside out. I’ve had to do a lot of work just to soften that and that still creeps in, it is an ongoing processing. This is the healing that we all do.’
Grant recently broke down in tears as he bravely discussed his struggles with his mental health in a candid new interview.
Grant Denyer (pictured) has become emotional as he discussed how he struggles with his self-esteem and doesn’t like his own reflection.
He opened up about how he contemplated suicide after breaking his back and becoming addicted to painkillers in one of the darkest periods of his life.
Speaking to the Hit Network’s Carrie Bickmore and Tommy Little, the former Sunrise weatherman was overcome with emotion as he recalled his struggles.
Grant – who shares daughters Sailor, 10, Scout, six, and Sunday, two, with his wife Chezzi – revealed his family were his only ‘purpose’ during the very difficult time.
His voice shaking with emotion, the Deal Or No Deal host bravely shared: ‘If I didn’t have a… uh… a child at that time, I didn’t really see much purpose in going on really.
‘I didn’t have much fight left or will to go on… so it was for her. I didn’t want [my daughter] to suffer the pain of not having a father around.’
Grant went on to explain how even winning a Gold Logie in 2018 didn’t do much to soothe his shattered self-image
Grant confessed he struggled with ‘low self-worth’ and didn’t like himself at the time, but loved his daughter enough to work through the very dark period.
‘Yeah… I could inflict pain on myself. I didn’t view myself very favourably. I wasn’t very kind. I had very low self-worth. I had no self-love. But I loved her enough to not want to hurt her,’ he shared.
‘If you just sort of put one foot in front of the other and just go bit by bit, just one rung at a time, you can kind of, you can get there.’
‘Having trouble with pain meds after a broken back was the darkest period in my life,’ he said during the Carrie and Tommy Show.
‘I was winning races in Supercars, I was hosting things like Australia’s Got Talent, Sunrise, and then bang – the handbrake gets pulled on your life and you have got to lie still for four months.
‘I still struggle to look at myself in the mirror,’ the television host admitted, adding that there are times he avoids being photographed. Pictured with wife Chezzi
‘You go into your darkest worst nightmares everywhere every time you close your eyes. So just say your worst fear is either your wife leaving you or a home invasion, the moment you close your eyes, you go straight into those worst-case scenarios, every single night.
‘And when you wake up, you can’t tell the difference between reality and your dreams. You believe they’ve all happened.’
Grant often discusses his mental health publicly, telling how he became addicted to pain medication after breaking his back in a freak monster truck accident in 2008.
The crash left Grant with a vertebrae that was shattered in 11 pieces, and doctors feared he might never walk again.
In 2014, Grant attended a wellness centre in Thailand which specialises in the treatment of PTSD and exhaustion.
‘Going to Thailand was challenging, but it was the smartest thing [me and Chezzi] ever did,’ he previously shared.
If you have been affected by this story, call Lifeline Australia on 13 11 14 or visit their website lifeline.org.au.
