You might think sexuality declines with age – but senior singletons want to get caught up in the throes of passion too, according to a new study.
Researchers have discovered that romance and sexual intimacy don’t decline with age, and finding a ‘physical connection’ remains important for older adults trying to date.
The study, carried out by scientists at the University of New Hampshire, challenges common assumptions about ageing and intimacy.
The researchers conducted in–depth interviews with 100 single men and women, all aged between 60 and 83, who were active users of online dating platforms.
An overwhelming 97 per cent emphasized the importance of sex in a romantic relationship, with 72 per cent insisting they would not pursue a relationship lacking sexual activity.
‘Many participants expressed that a relationship without sex felt more like a friendship,’ author Lauren Harris said.
‘They were seeking romance and physical connection, viewing sexual intimacy as essential to their relationships.’
She added that the findings ‘reshape expectations about aging and demonstrate that sexuality remains an important part of life across the lifespan’.
Researchers said senior people want to get caught up in the throes of passion, too. Pictured: In the 2009 film ‘It’s Complicated’, two characters in their early 60s get back together following several years of divorce
The study, published in the Journal of Sex Research, also dispels the notion that physical changes linked to getting old – such as loss of libido or erectile dysfunction – can hinder intimacy.
Participants said they were open to adapting their sexual practices to maintain a connection – whether through medical support like Viagra, by redefining intimacy or adjusting expectations around the frequency or intensity of sex.
‘Both men and women recognised the impact of ageing on sexual function but did not view these changes as insurmountable barriers,’ the team wrote.
Some participants in the study pointed out that they were still able to have an enjoyable sexual experience even if their abilities had declined.
Jeff, aged 61, said that despite not being as ‘good’ at sex as he was when he was younger, he still retained some abilities.
He joked: ‘When Michael Jordan played for the Bulls, he could run up and down the court. He could play 82 games. But when Michael Jordan went to the Wizards, he was older. He couldn’t run up and down the court like that anymore.
‘I can give you some great moments, but I can’t play the whole game… I’m not Michael Jordan for the Bulls anymore – I’m Michael Jordan for the Wizards. I can give you a great moment. I can’t give you a great game!’
The researchers also pointed out that, compared to previous generations, people are living longer than ever before.
An overwhelming 97 per cent of older people emphasize the importance of sex in a romantic relationship, the study found. Pictured: In Meet the Fockers, Barba Streisand (seen here giving a massage) plays a sex therapist for seniors
‘We just have more single older adults today than we’ve ever had before,’ Dr Harris said.
‘Historically, someone might be widowed or divorced later in life and be single for five or 10 years.
‘Now they could be single for 30 years, and that changes how we think about relationships and partnering.’
Some of the challenges older adults could face while dating include limited access to partners, they pointed out – particularly for women who statistically outnumber single men in older age groups.
To conclude, the scientists said: ‘The image of the widow who lost interest or the asexual grandfather does not represent all older adults.
‘The findings challenge ageist stereotypes and highlights the need to normalize sexual desire in later life, underscoring how romantic and sexual relationships can be desired across the life course.’
They said their research has implications for healthcare providers as rates of sexually transmitted infections (STIs) have recently increased among older adults.
At the same time, this group often avoid conversations with each other about sexual health, they warned.
They suggest that doctors incorporate discussions of sexual health into routing appointments and receive training that focuses on later–life sexuality.
Previous research found that the majority of over–75s say they want to remain sexually active as they get older.
Men were keener on staying sexually active as they aged, with 74 per cent wanting to do so, compared to 49 per cent of women.
While sex was on the cards, fewer respondents were interested in dating as they grew older with less than half of the over 55’s stating they be interested in looking for love if they were single.
The findings are based on a survey of over 1,000 adults of all ages by Home Instead, a care provider.
WHAT ARE THE FIVE STAGES OF A RELATIONSHIP AND HOW DO THEY AFFECT THE BODY?
Psychologists suggest there are five stages of love – butterflies, building, assimilation, honesty and stability.
Each of these stages has a different impact on our psyche and health, researchers at eHarmony found in a 2014 survey.
1) Butterflies
Marked by intense infatuation and sexual attraction, symptoms noted by couples included weight loss (30 per cent) and a lack of productivity (39 per cent).
Biologically, it’s reported that during this early stage of dating, both men and women create more of the sex hormones testosterone and oestrogen.
As a result more than half – 56 per cent – noted an increase in their libido.
Psychologists suggest there are five stages of love – butterflies, building, assimilation, honesty and stability
2) Building
As the initial attraction gives way to learning more about one another, the honeymoon stage subsides and a couple begin to build their relationship.
eHarmony’s study estimated around three per cent of Britons in relationship are currently at stage two.
The body releases neurochemicals called monoamines, which speed up heart rate, trigger rushes of intense pleasure and replicate the effects of Class A drugs.
The biological effect culminates in a feeling of ‘happy anxiety’, where people can think of little else than their blossoming relationship.
Forty-four per cent of the study participants noted a lack of sleep while 29 per cent reported a their attention span had been adversely affected.
3) Assimilation
Having established whether the other person is ‘right’, stage three forces a couple to question whether the ‘relationship’ itself is right.
Questions over the future of the union and forming boundaries in the relationship can lead to a rise in stress levels, reported by 27 per cent of those taking part in the study.
Each of the five stages of a relationship has a different impact on our psyche and health, researchers at eHarmony found in a 2014 survey (stock image)
4) Honesty
Stage three combines with stage four, where people open up showing the ‘real you’ sees the first real rise in stress levels and anxiety.
‘This stage deals with the concept behind how we all put on our best faces, through social media we edit our lives as well as our pictures to make it appear as though everything is fine,’ psychologist Dr Linda Papadopoulos, who assisted with the study, told MailOnline.
Opening up completely triggered feelings of doubt and increased vulnerability in 15 per cent of participants.
5) Stability
If a couple can weather the emotional rollercoaster of the first four stages, the fifth and final stage, stability, brings with it increased levels of trust and intimacy.
eHarmony found 50 per cent of respondents had reached this stage, and 23 per cent reported feeling happier as a result.
Biologically, vasopressin – a powerful hormone released by men and women during orgasm – strengthens feelings of attachment.
Meanwhile oxytocin – released during childbirth – deepens feelings of attachment.
‘This is where we see a real level of contentness,’ Dr Papadopolous told MailOnline.
‘We found the body releases wonderful hormones which helps couples bond. We noted a real sense of attachment, and a sense of “you have got my back and I’ve got yours”.’
