Phil Vickery, the 2003 World Cup-winner, has spoken for the first time about his brain damage resulting from head injuries during his career.
The 48-year-old has been diagnosed with probable chronic traumatic encephalopathy (CTE) and has joined a group of almost 400 players in a class-action concussion lawsuit against World Rugby, the RFU and Welsh Rugby Union.
Speaking in an interview with The Times, Vickery said he knew before his scans that he had probably suffered serious damage from his playing days.
“I kind of knew before I’d even had the scan done,” he said. “I said to the guy: ‘I know there’s something wrong with me’. I didn’t want to do anything about it.”
Vickery also stressed he is not “angry” or “bitter” towards the sport, yet is intent on securing his own future so that people “will be there to look after me” in older age.
“I don’t think that’s unreasonable,” said the former Gloucester and London Wasps prop, who won 73 England caps and toured with the British and Irish Lions twice.
“You know the classic response: ‘You knew what you signed up to’. Well, OK. I didn’t. I don’t remember talking about getting brain damage.
“It’s not about hanging the game out, it’s just about, ‘Right, so the reality is I could possibly be, in a few years’ time, not in a very good way, and will need help and care’.
“I’d like to think whoever’s around to look after me has got some money, instead of being a burden to my family or friends.”
Vickery, who has recently been competing in body-building competitions, is a central figure in Unbreakable, the TNT Sports documentary on the World Cup-winning squad of 2003, and shares particularly sobering scenes with Steve Thompson. The latter is also part of the same concussion lawsuit.
Meeting up with old teammates, Vickery explained, has been a cathartic experience.
“Last year we started talking, and it’s like, ‘F—— hell, I thought I was the only one who had those feelings, or struggled,’ and ‘I didn’t realise you felt like that,’ ” he said.
“It’s a double-edged sword, because you’ve got some amazing memories, and it’s bloody brilliant and fantastic, but you lock it away, because you can’t have that any more.
“When you open the box up again, you get all those amazing, brilliant emotions, but also the sadness.”
