A last-minute wedding date change caused a major scheduling conflict for a bridesmaid — and a rift in her friendship with the bride.
A woman anonymously shared her dilemma on a popular Reddit forum last month, detailing how she was “thrilled” to attend her best friend’s wedding and “even more excited when she asked me to be one of her bridesmaids.”
Then the bride, whom the author calls Sarah, told her friend to save a new date: “Due to a mix-up with the venue, the wedding date had to be changed,” the post’s author wrote, adding, “Unfortunately, the new date falls on the same weekend as a long-planned family reunion that I cannot miss, as it’s a special event for my grandparents’ 50th wedding anniversary.”
When the Reddit user initially broke the bad news to Sarah, her friend of over 10 years, the bride seemed understanding. Later, however, Sarah admitted her disappointment, and she texted her friend to say “the change in plans was really hard for her, and she would be deeply hurt if I didn’t make an effort to attend.”
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As a solution, the would-be bridesmaid suggested that she attend the wedding reception only to accommodate her special family plans. “But she insisted that the wedding is an all-day affair, and it’s important for me to be there for the entire event,” the anonymous poster recalled.
“I feel torn because I genuinely want to support Sarah, but I also don’t want to miss a significant family event that’s important to me,” the author added, looking for advice about how to handle the conflict. “I’ve been feeling anxious about this situation, and I’m not sure if I’m being unreasonable by choosing my family event over Sarah’s wedding.”
In the replies, other Reddit users reassured the post’s writer that she was right to choose her family event over Sarah’s nuptials, and they pointed out changing the date likely caused a conflict for other guests.
“Seems very very odd that she’d make a mistake like that and expect all of her guests to be able to rearrange their schedules on such short notice,” one person noted.
Another comment weighed the importance of her grandparents’ milestone anniversary: “My answer would be different if your existing event were a normal dinner or even someone’s birthday. But it’s not. A family reunion is a major event. It’s not even a ‘normal’ family reunion. It’s built around your grandparents’ 50th anniversary,” they wrote.
The same commenter continued, “The venue mix-up is very unfortunate, but you matter and your family matters and the reunion was in the diary first. Whatever is going on with the wedding is likely about a lack of organization on Sarah’s part.”