A woman who describes herself as a sociopath has now revealed the calculated dating tactics she says can leave men emotionally hooked and desperate to prove themselves.
Speaking on Chris Williamson’s Modern Wisdom podcast, Kanika Batra claimed she can identify different personalities and determine exactly how to handle them.
‘I know what people are feeling. I just will never feel it,’ said Batra, who is a former Miss Universe and Miss World finalist. ‘And I know how to mimic an accurate response, something that they would want to see.’
Batra, 30, who says she has been diagnosed with antisocial personality disorder and narcissistic personality disorder, openly described herself as highly skilled at lying and manipulation.
Her approach centers on three methods that can initially look like ordinary romance rather than attempts to seize control. First, she overwhelms a partner with gifts, affection and intense attention until he becomes attached to the feeling she provides.
She can then withdraw that warmth, creating uncertainty and making him work to regain her approval. Finally, she sets small tests that require a man to inconvenience himself, allowing her to measure his loyalty before committing to him.
‘People know that I can manipulate in many different ways,’ Batra told Williamson.
‘It’s just an idea of I understand that you’re a certain type of person and I know how to work every type of person,’ she added.
Kanika Batra, a self-described sociopath, has now revealed the calculated dating tactics she says can leave men emotionally hooked and desperate to prove themselves
Antisocial personality disorder (ASPD) and narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) are both mental health conditions involving a lack of empathy and manipulative behavior, but they differ significantly in core motivations and daily actions.
Those with ASPD tend to be deceitful, impulsive, irritable and physically aggressive.
While individuals suffering from NPD are more arrogant, entitled and have an inflated self-image.
Mental health professionals diagnose these disorders using clinical evaluations based on criteria in the DSM-5-TR (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition, Text Revision), which is the official handbook used by mental health professionals to define, classify, and diagnose mental disorders.
Batra said she was diagnosed with ASPD at age 21. Batra, who is married, said she does not have to maintain the same mask around her husband and described him as a calming influence.
But she admitted she has manipulated former partners, sometimes slowly withdrawing communication and effort until the relationship disintegrated.
She told Williamson that the first tactic she uses, love-bombing, comes naturally to her.
The term describes overwhelming someone with affection, praise, gifts or communication early in a relationship, potentially creating an intense attachment before a genuine bond has formed.
Kanika Batra, 30, who says she has been diagnosed with antisocial personality disorder and narcissistic personality disorder, openly described herself as highly skilled at lying and manipulation
‘I also actually really love giving gifts, and I love love bombing. I do it naturally. It’s not necessarily planned,’ she said on the podcast.
That flood of attention can leave partners craving more, according to Batra, who described what happens when the intensity begins to fade.
‘And then they get hooked on it, and then they start getting really, really obsessive,’ she said.
‘They’ll be like, “Oh, okay. Why aren’t you calling me more? Oh, are you seeing other people? You must be seeing other people.”‘
Batra acknowledged that she wants to deliver affection on her own terms rather than whenever a partner demands it. She said she has often begun to feel ‘pure contempt’ for partners after approximately three months, once the fantasy she projected onto them gave way to reality.
Her second tactic involves creating distance and limiting access. Batra advised women to switch off social-media notifications and activity indicators, avoid constant texting and maintain an air of mystery during early dating.
She argued that this prevents women from becoming dependent on the dopamine rush of receiving attention while also stopping men from knowing when they are available online.
‘You don’t know when he was online. He doesn’t know when you were online. You’re mysterious,’ she said.
Batra also suggested saving a man’s number under a mildly insulting contact name to weaken the emotional power he holds. She offered ‘hepatitis B’ as an example, reasoning that a woman would be less devastated if someone stored under that name failed to reply.
Her third strategy is to test how much effort a man is willing to expend. Rather than directly demanding an extravagant gesture, she recommends asking him to complete a small task or travel slightly farther than necessary to meet.
‘That’s the purpose of tests,’ Batra said. ‘So, you ask them to go slightly inconveniently out of their way to help you in some way.’
She continued: ‘Do you mind picking this up on your way here? Do you mind meeting me here? Even though it’s a little bit further from you.’
Batra argued that a man who genuinely cares would not object to minor inconveniences, allowing a woman to judge his actions rather than trust romantic promises.
She also recommended quietly reminding a reluctant man that he has competition. ‘If he thinks he’s better than you, show him your other options,’ Batra said, before stressing that women should not make the tactic too obvious. ‘Just let him know you’ve got options.’
Williamson challenged Batra over whether this advice could encourage women to introduce toxic games into otherwise healthy relationships.
He noted that love-bombing a man before withdrawing affection, or identifying his insecurities and deliberately pressing them, closely resembles manipulation tactics commonly condemned when men use them against women.
Batra conceded that some of her advice could be viewed as manipulative, saying: ‘I think it is fair. Yeah.’
However, she claimed the ruthless behavior should stop once a secure relationship has been established.
‘I tell them where ruthlessness should begin and where it should end. And it should definitely end when you’re in a secure relationship,’ she said.
